As some of you may or may not know I have Fibromyalgia. I deal with a constant struggle of chronic pain on a daily basis. I'm a trooper though and try to push my way through it. I wanted to share with you how sometimes a typical day for most people can be not so typical for someone with Fibromyalgia.
My alarm clock goes off, maybe for the second or even third time in the morning. Maybe for the fourth time! It is so difficult for me to get out of bed because I just didn't sleep well or I did sleep but still wake up totally exhausted. The aches and pains sometimes keep me tossing and turning, and several times during the night I find myself laying there wide awake for no reason at all. There have been times when I have had severe cramps in my calves and had to spring out of bed and hobble around until I could get them to work themselves out and crawl back in bed. I know that I have to get up, that I have to get on with my day, but I'm just so tired. So I roll over and squint at the clock to see what time it is and figure up exactly how long I can stay in bed and still make it to work on time.
For people who do not suffer from Fibromyalgia, they can just jump out of bed, and get ready for their day. For me I have to carefully plan each step of the day. Since I work planning out my day (to the extent I can) helps me get through my day.I have found it takes a certain amount of energy to get through each work day. I have to be able to keep my mind clear to be able to focus on the tasks I have at hand, yet balance that with the best pain relief I can manage. There are days that I can't remember things I need to get done, which is called Fibro Fog, so I have to make a list each day when I get to work. I don't have that very often, but it can be very annoying. It seems no matter how much sleep I get it's never enough; I try to make it through a work day, but there are days when I have to go lay my head down on my lunch break just to get a little rest. There is a point in the afternoon when the fatigue kicks in and I struggle just to keep my eyes open. At that point, I get up and walk around the branch to help fight that urge to sleep.
I have found that the weather and I do not get along. In the past I was the one who in the summer and winter would freeze everyone out. Hubs used to call me the "Nuke of the North". Since then I am the one who can't seem to stay warm. I secretly think my husband is enjoying this as he is not freezing anymore. I find that I consistently wear a light jacket of some sort around the house and at times even have a blanket on me. Which is something I never did in the past.
When I get home from work, I have the task of cooking dinner, helping with laundry and whatever else needs to be done. Each night I find that I have been going to bed earlier and earlier. There are times I feel guilty by doing this cause I tend t miss out on some time with my family. Most of the time I go to bed early just because I hurt to the point that I just want to lay down, sometimes it's the exhaustion and I fall right to sleep. I have found that some of the normal activities that my family and I love to do are fine while I am doing them, but at the end of the day I'm beat. Sometimes to the point that I take something for the pain and stay in bed all day the next day.
I will say that I have been blessed with great family and friends in my life that help me when I do struggle. My husband is there by me at all times. My son, although he doesn't understand the total effects of Fibromyalgia, has made a point to try and be gentle with me. I am a little stubborn and tend to not ask for help, but I do know that there are people here for me if I need it.
So by the end of the day, I am exhausted, sometimes from just day to day routine. But living with every day pain, no matter if your pain level is at 2 or 10 that day, I have found can be a difficult struggle. And even if I didn't sleep well, that darn alarm clock will go off again tomorrow, and I'll be up and at it once again.
I have found that I have to fight Fibromyalgia, but I am never going to let it beat me. I have Fibromyalgia, but it will never have me!
National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day is May 12, 2013, please wear purple to raise awareness of the invisible disease.
With Love,
"B"
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