Most of us want to bring out the best in our husband and help him to reach his potential. I have been putting a lot of thought into this topic lately and have come up with these 5 things that I, as a wife, can do to support my husband and help him to be the Hero that I see.
1. Catch His Vision
So, your husband comes home from work one day and says, "I want to quit my job and open a coffee shop." Before you panic and start screaming about what a dumb idea that is, try to catch the motivation behind his vision. Is he having a tough time at work? Does he feel like he's in a dead job? Does he feel like he all he does is work, work, work?
Here is the key. Most men take pride in providing for their family, but if they feel unappreciated and disrespected by their wives and children, they might start to wonder why they're slaving away.
So, if your husband comes home with an idea that may seem insane to you, remember to hear him out first. He needs something to dream about also, even if you feel its crazy, he deserves your support.
2. Take the words "I told you so" out of your vocabulary
Working in the financial business I overheard this conversation between and wife and her husband one day. Apparently the husband invested a couple of hundred thousand dollars in a commercial piece of property at the height of the real estate boom. He had solid plans for the piece, but none of that mattered when the market went south.
This would seem like a natural place for an "I told you so." But, instead his wife said, "You know, some of the biggest real estate experts got caught in the downturn. You did your best with the information you had at the time."
No one likes to make mistakes. Worse still is making a mistake and having someone make you feel like a heel for doing so. Plus, if you say that dreaded phrase, it might make you feel good for the moment, but it could severely damage your relationship with your husband.
3. Understand that he wants to please you.
Even if you and your husband are in a bad spot in your marriage, and there's a lot of tension between you, chances are, your husband still wants to please you. His goal, as a husband, is to please you and make you happy. Try to notice the things that he does that are kind or thoughtful, then, thank him.
In an old movie from the sixties, the wife was told to treat her husband like a dog. Now, that sounds like bad advice, but in this case, it meant praising the husband as you would praise a dog when he does something right. Now that doesn't mean to throw your husband a dog biscuit and pat him on the head when he does something right. You do need to show him how appreciative you are when he makes an effort.
4. Build him up.
Think back to when you were dating your husband. Do you think he enjoyed being around you? Does he still? Do you build him up with your comments or tear him down?
If you have a son, think about how you would want him to treat his girlfriend or wife when he grows up. Try to find the things about your husband that are good, and dwell on those.
5. Let him be your hero.
Keep in mind that most men are wired to provide for, to protect, and to lead. So, give your husband the chance to do it. If you're fixing something around the house and he offers to help you, let him. If he wants to help you lift something heavy, or even help you cook, let him. When it comes to figuring things out- be it directions or how to get the kiddos from point A to point B, give him that chance to step in and help you. Give him a chance to shine.
Keep in mind your husband wants to be the protector, the provider, the lover, the great father, and leader of his household. With the simple things above we can bring out the true Hero that we see our husbands as.
Thanks,
"B"
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