Rather than dwell on how you're not with your child, think about how your role in the company is benefiting the family. Perhaps you can afford certain classes or educational opportunities for your children or able to put away savings for college. The most successful career moms have found ways to be efficient in both worlds--and that requires being able to come to terms with choices and focus on the priorities that are in the moment. Accept that there will be good and bad days. Mothers should know they are not alone and they should discuss their feelings with their spouse. You can also turn to local mom blogs, which are a great way to reach out to others trying to find the same work-home balance.This is one of the reasons I started my blog in the first place is because I am a full-time working mom and wanted to provide an outlet for other moms like me.
Avoid starting the day on a frazzled note by getting organized the night before. I will admit I need to do this myself, it would make our mornings go so much easier. Pack the kid's lunches, lay out their clothes(plus your own), and have everyone shower. You should decide what to make for breakfast, and repack diaper bags, backpacks, purses, or work bags to be placed by the door, right next to your keys, so you can grab them and lock up on your way out. Look over the next day's to-do list and divide the schedule, determining which parent gets the kids dressed, buys necessary groceries, and cooks the meals. This is also a good time to discuss any changes to the family schedule. Knowing that a lot of the mundane tasks are completed will allow you to spend a few minutes eating breakfast with the kids without rushing out of the house.
Figure out your family's priorities. A calendar can include date when bills are due, a chore chart for the kids, a list of school and family events, extracurricular activities, birthdays, and more. I suggest using Google calendar along with Pocket Informant App (if you have a IPad or IPhone). They are color-coded and get superimposed on each other, so you can always be on top of scheduling challenges.
On Sundays set aside 15 minutes to review and prepare for the upcoming week's schedule. This helps eliminate surprises during the week. Families should share the calendar with their babysitter or any other person that the schedule would effect, so that they are up-to-date on activities. Staying organized is also about have a clean environment. Maybe create a "family command station" near an entrance way, where important papers and document as placed, along with keys, chargers batteries and petty cash. Carving out dedicated spots will save time and improve efficiency in your home.
Stay connected with your children even when you're not together. For moms with younger kids, consider recording yourself talking or singing on a video or record your voice reading along to a children's book(Hallmark has a series of recordable storybooks). If you're going to miss or be late to a child's event, give them something special in the morning, like a good-luck charm or a personal note. Look into options for filming the event so you can watch it later and not miss a moment. Hang pictures of yourself and your spouse so the kids can see your faces. If your kids are old enough to have a cell phone make sure they have pictures of you and your spouse. During your breaks at work, call or text your child; doing this can help you get through a rough day, and they will be comforted to know you're near.
Making time for your kids is crucial, both during the week and on the weekends, to nurture your family dynamic and allow everyone to bond. If you're pressed for time, have a family breakfast or a family night with board games or movies. Create activities that regularly fit into your schedule so everyone knows what to expect and what to look forward to. When you do have family outings, avoid talking about work or checking your work email. Instead, focus on your kids, interests such as friends, classes and hobbies. If you have older children, ask for their activity suggestions and try to meet their needs. In the end, it doesn't matter what you do as long as you do it together.
Remember to nurture your relationship with your spouse , who will often be the number one person by your side. Start by having weekly time together to get closer, feel rejuvenated, and enjoy each other's company. Often, if you're busy with work and home, your spouse is the first to get neglected. Fostering this relationship will bring back some excitement to the marriage and help you to "check in" with each other. For some couples, going out on a weekly date can be difficult and expensive, but that doesn't mean you can't focus on each other. Have an indoor date night by cooking an elegant mean together or even sitting together with a glass of wine and talking.
By managing time wisely, you can fit in valuable "me" time regularly. A refreshing break will help you recharge while taking care of personal needs. Because your time is divided between your home and your career, make sure to manage your energy well. You can't be an effective spouse or parent if you're cranky. So take time to care for yourself to feel relaxed and effective. Lose yourself in a book before you go to sleep, take a bubble bath once a week, or treat yourself to a spa day. Fit in time for exercise or a hobby. Remember to eat well and get enough rest--simple things that even the smartest moms neglect.
Being a working mom isn't easy, but can be done with trying to be organized with your time. I have worked since I was 16 and I have built a great career as a working mom and have been able to see my family benefit from my success. I also remember that I can't do it alone and lean on my husband to help along the way. Remember being a working mom does not mean you have to sacrifice your family. Be successful at both!
With Love,
"B"
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